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Given the contretemps (and ultimate cover-up) over at the
Sagamore Hotel about Stanley Tunick’s group nudes, it was a good
thing there weren’t any Republican congressmen with overly-delicate
sensibilities walking near Euclid Circle this past Friday evening as
the Winter Party Festival Runway, sponsored by aussiebum, got
underway on Lincoln Road. Those randy aussiebum boyz, and their
handlers, would have sent those Republican congressmen racing back
to
Idaho—or more likely, scrambling for the nearest airport bathroom
stalls.
Before the male titillation, however, there was the
requisite female swimsuit competition—as in girls with real hair,
coiffed and dressed in Red Carter’s latest line, and resembling a
Slim Aarons monograph come to life. We’re talking gold lamé heels
(no doubt, meant for climbing sand dunes) married to flamingo pink
and turquoise. Amidst the hauteur, there was a bit of Esther
Williams’s playfulness—for
Miami Beach glam
has always involved the ability to laugh at its own outré
tendencies.
Or as the sultry chanteuse Nicole Henry said by way of
introducing her version of “Cheek to Cheek,” “Dancing is a
celebration of life,” which was something Republican congressmen
might do well to remember. Because while the Winter Party Festival
is many things to many people, it’s good to remember that it all
started with a dance in the sand.
And
with that thought, the aussiebum boyz were off and preening, posing
for the paparazzi in aussiebum’s aptly-named Titanium and Flaunt
collections. “Beautiful Day,” indeed—as the deejay had it, before
segueing into “Southern Man,” an interesting choice given that only
the most confident Southern boys in the United States would be
caught beachfront in these aussiebums. We’re talking up front and
center, with a soupcon of “Velvet Goldmine.” Really, no one knows
better than the Ozzies how to package their junk. And why not
showcase—for as one aussiebum handler had it as she undressed a
willing and eager audience participant, “We’re here for a good time,
not a long time.” Amen to that—and also to that aussiebum
Wonderjock crotch-enhancer.
Best always,
Mark and Robert
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