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If, as a New
Yorker, you ever experience any doubt about the fact that you’re
living in the center of the very illest creative community on the
planet, all you need do is tune into George Lyter’s ADD-TV (10 p.m.
Thursdays, MNN channel 34) to rediscover all the creatures of the
night who populate this wicked town while you’re wasting precious
hours catching shut-eye. ADD-TV’s incredibly empowering video
segments ennoble almost every aspect of the gay life that the
religious right contends hazardous to a society’s health, and in so
doing, makes any and all viewers wonder how in the hell anyone in
the galaxy would ever choose to be straight. For the past three
years, ADD-TV has featured one-word theme telecasts dedicated to
Dick, Drag, Dance, Nasty, Fame, Krak, Pride, Retro, Homo, Diva,
Beat, Eat, etc. You get the picture. As the website (www.add-tv.com)
states, “We welcome cross dressers, people with AIDS, ex-priests,
crackheads, hookers, aging porno stars, heterosexuals, and
hemophiliacs. ADD-TV. We don’t discriminate.”
Given that there was some double-booking by Plaid at last year’s
Pill Awards, this year’s show was held at SBNY, commencing at eight
p.m., which was close enough to happy hour that there was already a
built-in (and cracked-out) audience before Octavia St. Laurent
sashayed to the podium. Perhaps best known to the larger public from
her appearance in the documentary Paris Is Burning. Ms. St. Laurent
mangled her opening remarks, but given her flawless appearance, no
one held it against her. Then everyone’s favorite bad-boy-next-door,
the incorrigible and indefatigable Jonny McGovern took to the stage
with his posse, performing a rousing rendition of “Looking Cute,
Feeling Cute,” which set the tone for the evening’s
let’s-put-on-an-awards-show-that-doesn’t-kill-us-with-boredom
irreverence.
Everyone was there. Every nightcrawler in town must’ve set their
alarms for an ungodly early p.m. wake-up call to present, represent,
or receive one of ADD-TV’s blue-and-white capsule-shaped awards. The
nominees were culled from all those gifted queers whose shorts and
videos were telecast during ADD-TV’s third season, and included
Candis Cayne, Jackie Beat, as well as Cazwell and Kevin Aviance,
both whom were featured performers. Wearing but two
strategically-placed Ace bandages and his customary high heels,
Kevin performed an emotional acappella version of “Seattle,” an
elegiac tune about those he’s lost along the way, but this came on
the heels, so to speak, of his and the House of Aviance’s New York
ode, “This Is NYC, Bitch” which tore down the house, raised the
roof, and sent the cracked-out and booze-laden crowd into adrenaline
overdrive. Winners included Candis Cayne for her hair (“Hair of
Cayne”) as well as Abbalicious’s drag-heavy and viewer-friendly
“Mamma Mia.” Another winner, for Best Video, and deservedly so, was
Cazwell, who performed his “I Buy My Socks on 14th Street” with
charm and attitude enough to loot his way through Bergdorf’s and
Barney’s. Jackie Beat, missing in action, won Best Drag, while the
European rugby players who bared all for the calendars which
currently litter college dorm walls where once hung A&F boyz won for
Best Testosterone. And speaking of testosterone, porn star Owen Hawk
also presented, but alas, clothed. Judges ran the gamut from
promoter Mark Nelson to Village Person Randy Jones, as well as
performance artist Rainblo and Brad Romaker, landscape architect.
By evening’s end, after Janice Robinson’s heroic performance of her
remixed hit “Dreamer” from the Paleolithic era, judges, presenters,
performers, and winners were all mingling amidst the audience, one
glorious mass of rainbow messes – and the videocams were rolling for
another episode of ADD-TV. Don’t miss it next time.
Best always,
Mark and Robert
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